Weekly Reflection #9

I almost spaced out this weeks update

I am finding myself a little more everyday.

I am reading more, writing more and enjoying nature again. On Thursday I took a hike with my boyfriend and my dog, who is doing better, and we just enjoyed the beauty in our city.

Sometimes I forget that this little city I am in has such beauty in it, I am so use to hearing the complaints of how bland and boring it is that I forget to appreciate the nature that surrounds us.

There is a strange comfort walking down a rocky path, surrounded by rocks and endless amounts of sagebrush and the occasional intersection with the creeks. For the first time in forever I felt like a kid wondering through something new, discovering these amazing things, like when I saw a Marmot for the first time.

The fact that they are described as giant squirrels is hilarious to me and they are just the cutest little dudes. I found myself feeling relaxed and excited as we walked along the path, and when we would hit the little signs along the path I was excited to see the new information.

Other than the hike I took I also got my couch in and managed to put that thing together, it was a rather difficult thing to figure out for some reason but I was proud of myself for working through the frustration and figuring it out. Trust me that is a huge win for me.

I was able to find some CBD products to help my dogs anxiety while I am at work, and a nice kennel so he can’t throw himself out of a window again. On top of all of this I feel that I have learned a lot about different topics and I have been happy and fulfilled this week and I finally felt a little sense of peace in life again.

My favorite silly activity I started this week, for no real reason other than it brings me joy, is reading my books out loud. Some times in normal voices and other times in weird accents because it just makes it fun. It really makes homework a lot easier to get through when you’re reading it silly.

The thing I am most proud of though is the wall that I seemed to break through recently. You see, growing up I was conditioned to not like my mom or her family and it has taken me lots of work to get past. This week I have made such improvement and I am proud of myself.

What this means for me is that I can hang out with my mom and my aunt, talk with my grandpa and hear news about that side of my family without feeling a since of guilt or frustration. And to some of you this may see weird but it is a huge step for me.

I can admit that I love my mom. Did she make some mistakes in life? Yes but she admits that and has worked through it. Does she drive me insane? Yes but I get worried when she isn’t sending me weird messages.

A part of me is healing and I am moving through the emotions and moving past the guilt.

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What did I watch?

Mainly YouTube honestly, I have been watching my paranormal channels that I follow as long with the ones who go over crime. If I am not watching those them I am watching Dexter, or I am watching Daredevil with my boyfriend.

What am I reading?

Well I have a few books I am working through

This is a more motivational book that talks about finding your Meaningful Mission in life, basically something for you to do as a career option that actually feels fulfilling to you. The author talks about breaking out of the ‘good enough’ mindset and trying to apply yourself to something more. Yes, you can cringe if you would like to but I have enjoyed it so far. Do I think it will cause a huge major shift in my mindset or life course? Probably not but some of the things I’ve read so far are valid points.

When I am done with it I plan on doing a more in depth review of it for anyone who is interested.

Now, this is something that I found when I had a profound breakthrough in my brain and realized I want to learn more about the body to mind connection through mental illness, trauma and physical reactions. As of right now I don’t exactly know what it is I am looking to answer I just know I want to learn more and this seemed like a good place to start.

I am a few chapters in and I have learned some interesting things already about the process psychology and psychiatry has gone through over the years to learn more about the human mind and brain. And of course when I finish this book I will be doing an in depth book review of this and I will also share my opinion about the concepts covered.

So here is a shocker for you, I am reading a new book by a new author. I told myself that I would branch away from my obsession with Nora Roberts and find other authors. Now this book is the one that I started reading aloud in funny voices because I did have a hard time getting into it, though that is not the authors fault I am just an odd reader sometimes.

So far I love it which surprised me a little bit if I am being honest with you. The author writes in first person, which is a change from third person omniscient which is what I am use to. The main character is spunky, independent and honestly hilarious.

Now the overall plot of the story is about Blair who is the owner of a popular gym, there is a girl that goes there that copies her every move which drives her nuts. Things hit the fan when Blair witnesses this woman being murdered, and she is thrown into a police investigation that opens too many options for her liking.

I am only 5 chapters into the book so I don’t know too much of the plot at the moment but what I have read so far has hooked me in and of course I will be finishing the book. And yes I will be reading it in the same silly voices because it just adds character.

Final Thoughts

There isn’t too much to put here, I kind of rambled through everything in the beginning of this update.

I will say that I am proud of myself for the progress I am making in life, and I am finding myself more relaxed and happier as the days go by.

Stay tuned til next week to see if anything wild happens, hopefully nothing too crazy. If you would like to see some of my cool rocks I am more than happy to share my collection/obsessions with you.

If you’d like to support this soft, chaotic spiral of mine, you can do so below:

Your presence means more than you know. Thank you for being here.